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There are many instances where people go out and intentionally become hiv positive so they can love and be loved. it is a sick and twisted world we live in, that circumstances have developed in such a way that someone would opt for something ostensibly self destructive to satisfy subconscious desires, even when that very thing believed to be self-destructive may not actually even be so. AAAAAAHHHH! .... but intuitively we all know that disease and contagion and social circumstance and race and gender and whatever else mean absolutely nothing in the spiritual and cosmological scheme of reality and the timeless universe. everybody just fights that intuition all the time with illusions.

i just think about medieval times or tribal cultures, where disease and death is a fact of daily life that is not denied, but rather accepted and understood. No, people may not live as long, but they live more fully and don't run around scared of everything, bound in a realm of scripted beliefs that often are intended to scare or sell. They love, they fuck, they die. passion is the rule.

and all this crap that religion spews on us is a bunch of bullshit. "right" behavior etc. morals. it is all a joke. after having been away from America so long, I see the Americans, my parents and friends, trapped in the silliest little peculiarities of social and moral comportment that seem completely insignificant. Like porn. Who gives a fuck?!???!??! people stick their goddamn cocks into pussies and asses! so what?! why can't it be recorded and shown? I also understand, but do not see, the silly little moral peculiarities that I have taken on that exist here.